


Peace in your Violence

by EmotionsofInk



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Blood and Violence, Gen, One Big Happy Family, Phobias, Team Feels, mentions of child abuse, mentions of self harm, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmotionsofInk/pseuds/EmotionsofInk
Summary: Four things Eric learned about his team-mates, and the one secret that they all found out about him.





	Peace in your Violence

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! More angst to add to the collection, I have been working on this over the last few weeks and I really like how it turned out. A bit of drama and angst and team bonding :D
> 
> Work title and inspiration lyrics from "Silence" by Marshmello

**Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter  
'Cause all my life, I've been fighting**

The first loss of the season had hit them hard, Eric found himself in a daze, after the debrief of going through the video, every small thing was looked at, every small mistake. It was a weird sort of atmosphere, he realized they had lost, he knew that it had been a bad game and they certainly had been told off. But it didn’t feel like that – he still felt like he hadn’t been in trouble. It was a weird feeling if he was honest, he guessed he was just expecting to be yelled at a bit more. And he didn’t seem to be the only one.

He found his teammate staring at the floor in the main lounge, while everyone else had gone into their rooms, talking about streaming or watching some a movie, or even, in Andy’s case, heading to the gym down the road to left off some steam. If anything, Eric expected him to have followed the support, seeming how long much time they had spent together there – but no. Here he was, staring blankly at the floor.

Something itched in him, like he should help – but then again, maybe he just wanted to be left alone. He stood in the doorway for a few moments, fighting inwardly with himself on if it was a good idea to go up and talk to him or not. In the end he decided that perhaps nothing bad could come of it.

“Ah, Dennis?” He tentatively made his way into the lounge, indicating that he wanted to sit down beside his jungler. “Are you okay, do you want some company.” Eric motioned to the doorway and added. “I can leave you be if you want to just sit here, in silence.”

“I... no I don’t mind company, I’m just trying to figure it all out.”

Eric took this as an invitation to sit and he did. “Figure out what?”

“Just why, no one is… super angry or – you know, why we’re not fully going back to everything and going over every single detail and… blaming each other?” He looked up at Eric at this, sighing at the look of confusion on Eric’s face. “Sorry, I guess you have nothing else to compare this with. It’s just, I wasn’t expecting the environment to be so different.”

Eric nodded, he wondered if it had something to do with that. From the small conversation he had with Dennis the difference in the teams had come up a few times. From what he could gather it was all good things, although Dennis did miss his old team mates, it was the environment he was glad to have left behind.

“Do you, want me to start yelling at you or something?”

This caused a laugh to escape Dennis’s throat and Eric called this a win. “Nah, I just – it’s weird… do you think it’s wrong I kind of got used to it, like… what do I do now that it’s not there…” He sighed, “I wouldn’t say I depended on it, or looked forward to it – but it was something I could come to expect…. I don’t know what to expect now.”

“Well then, we should start something, to do after loses, so you know what to expect.” Eric though out loud, running a hand through his head, trying to think of things. “You know, something that de-stresses you, coffee, walks, gym.”

“Ferris Wheels.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ferris wheels destress me, one hundred percent, all the time.”

Eric just stared at Dennis for a moment, eyes squinted slightly. “Ferris wheels? One of the most boring carnival rides in existence?”

Dennis fake gasped, “How dare you Sir, what you think going on a rollercoaster is destressing? It’s the complete opposite I’d wager.” He grinned slightly, a small laugh on his lips, watching as Eric pulled out his phone and began typing. “What are you doing?”

“Seeing where the nearest Ferris wheel is.” He smiled slightly. “Did you know a carnival is in town, well, not in town, just outside of town.” He gave his jungler a cheeky grin before getting to his feet. “Come on, we’ll go have a few rides on a Ferris wheel.”

“Are you serious?”

“What else are you going to do – mope around here and beat yourself up over a loss that was the teams mistake, and not yours like you seem to always think it is.” He shook his head, “Come on, I suppose I could be persuaded to like Ferris wheels, especially if it became a tradition.”

And it did become one, a tradition of sort, just the two of them, going out of their way to find a Ferris Wheel every time they suffered a loss. It was nice, the conversations, the quietness. Eric was glad now that when they lost, Dennis was beginning to expect something nice, something fun.

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

It was a cool evening and the two of them had just stopped at the top of the Ferris Wheel, lights and colours in front of them. Dennis was staring at Eric with a large smile.

“You know what helps me, so what helps you – what do you do to destress?”

“Being with people.”

“That’s all your giving me?”

Eric laughed, “No, it’s true…. Being with people helps me destress.”

“Alright, okay – so this is good for both us then?”

“Yeah, yeah I suppose it is.”

****

**Never felt a feeling of comfort  
All this time, I've been hiding**

He had first seen the scars out of the corner of his eyes when they were all having dinner together. He had been handed a plate of food and noticed the white scars, only just on the already pale skin. Eric had pushed them to the back of his mind, not wanting to pry, not wanting to think to deeply on it. At first glance maybe, he thought he was wrong, he thought he had seen wrong and part of him wanted to be wrong so much that he forced himself to think it.

Eric didn’t know if he should talk to someone, to ask, to imply – he had no idea if anyone else knew anything, he had no idea if what he saw was what he saw. It hurt his head to think about, but it also hurt his heart. He may have only known this team, his team, for a small period, but he was already quite fond of them. And thinking that on of them had been in so much pain that they restored to that – was horrifying. 

It was almost the end of the split, when he realized it was getting to be something that he just couldn’t forget and push to one side. And he was pretty sure that the sidelong glances he kept giving him were starting to be noticed, last night after scrims he has asked if everything was okay – which was confusing really, because it was the question he wanted to ask him.

One evening after a rough day of scrims was when he had decided to finally say something. He had heard his team mate mutter an apology before retreating to his room. Reapered had just shook his head, making a comment about how he hated when he got like this, and Eric knew it was his que to say something. 

His knock on the door was hesitant and the immediate and irate answer was enough for him to cement in his mind that something was going on.

“Go away Zach, I’m fine.”

“Hmm, seeming I’m not Zach, can I come in?”

The door opened, and Eric soon found himself face to face with his midlaner. “Oh look, it’s the starrer.”

Eric cringed slightly at this. “Yeah, you’ve noticed that.”

“Yeah, I have.” He folded his arms across his chest and continued to look him up and down. The annoyance in his voice was noticeable, something Eric realized early on, when Jensen was angry, his accent was more prominent. “You have a reason for that at all?”

“Can I come in and answer that question or are we going to have an awkward conversation in the hall?” Jensen rolled his eyes but stepped away from the door and moved further into the room, motioning for the toplaner to follow. He did so, awkwardly standing as Jensen sat down on the bed. “I know that we don’t really talk to much or anything, not that I don’t like you or we’re not friends it’ just, recently – I… I don’t know.”

“You…” Jensen smiled slightly, before sighing. “You are, pretty great you know, that right?”

“What?”

“You’ve noticed the scars, haven’t you?”

Eric froze slightly, his eyes, which he had been looking anywhere but Jensen, moved to stare at the midlaner, who was staring at his wrists, running his fingers across the white scars that Eric had been noticing more and more. Taking a risk Eric took a deep breath and sat down beside Jensen on the bed.

“I’m sorry, if I’m overstepping, or something - or being any idiot. I just wanted… Nicolaj, I just really wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

He smiled softly at this. “And I am, really, they’re all pretty old.” Finally looking up he gave Eric a nod and added. “You can stop worrying that I’ll ever go back to it, because I won’t, not now - the team and Reapered made sure of that.”

Something lifted off hiss shoulders and he breathed out deeply, almost relief. “I, I am really glad to hear that… I supposed I should have realized the others would have known I just.” Eric suddenly found himself feeling super self-conscious, almost like he was the one that had just had a major secret thrown out in the open. “I just, I hate the feeling of knowing someone you care about is going through that.”

Jensen nodded, “That was one of the reason I stopped, what is was doing to others.”

“I wish more people had the will power to do that, stop I mean.”

“Yeah well,” Jensen shifted slightly on the bed, moving closer to Eric. “I wish there were more people out there like you – who stopped to care.” He nudged him slightly in the shoulder before adding, with a small smile, and a light chuckle. “Hey, you learned something new about your team mates, and hey, don’t worry – with you guys around, even with horrid days like this, I know I’ve always got someone to talk to, right?”

“Right, always.”

****

**I'm in need of a savior, but I'm not asking for favors  
My whole life, I've felt like a burden**

End of split hadn’t really gone how of them were expecting, none of them especially expecting the 0-2 in the final week. To say they were all feeling apprehensive as they went into playoffs was an understatement. The feeling in the house was something that he hadn’t experienced all split and he wasn’t sure if he liked it, at all. In fact, he was pretty sure he hated it.

Eric wasn’t too sure how he could really describe the feeling, like they were going into playoffs expecting to lose. Being tied solidly for first for most of the split and ending where they did was something they just never thought possible. It was not the nicest of environments, and when Dennis had told him he didn’t think he could go on a Ferris Wheel, and none of them team wanted to go out for coffee and have a laugh, he knew it was bad.

It was the lowest he had seen them, and he never wanted to see it again. He was beginning to get way to protective of his team, Eric didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing – but it was certainly happening, it had come in such a sudden burst he really wasn’t prepared for it. 

He was considering not playing any more games for the night, maybe lock himself in his room and try to come up with a plan to make his team feel better. Something which he figured he needed coffee for. Eric was slowly making his way into the kitchen, mind going over and over the long day of games, when a crash – a yell, and the sound of someone falling echoed around the house.

Running the rest of the way into the kitchen, he breathed out deeply at the sight, broken glass, blood, and Andy sprawled out on the floor. Breathing heavily, strikingly pale as he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head he was muttering incoherently to himself.

“Andy! Oh My God, Andy!” He was on the floor beside him in seconds. Reaching out to place a hand on his shaking shoulder. “Andy, what….” He hesitated when he cringed at the contact, “I’m sorry did I hurt you I… Andy?”

“I’m fine, I just-“

“Why won’t you…?”

“Just, I don’t want to look at it, please don’t make me look at it.”

Eric blinked, “At, what.”

“T-The blood, I can’t I just…” He cracked one eye slightly and whimpered at the side of the stain on the counter before closing his eyes immediately again. “Nope, nope I can’t do it.” Andy just shook his head, “Look I know it’s stupid and you probably want to laugh at me right now, but I just, I can’t… ever since I was young blood has just… I’m surprised I didn’t completely pass out.”

“I’m not going to laugh at you, let me clean it up.” He pushed himself to his feet, trying to find something to get rid of the blood with, Noticing the amount of blood and how it was smeared almost across the whole counter the worry in the pit of his stomach increased. “Hey, ah... what, what happened.”

Andy laughed, “I… ah,” He held out his right arm, a large slice right down it was still dripping with blood, staining his arm and the floor below. “Maybe have had a little accident, I mean…. It was small and then I panicked when I saw the blood and the knife just kind of… kept, going.”

His voice trailed off at the sudden pressure on his arm. Eric was kneeling beside him again, pressing something tightly on his arm. “Fuck Andy, this is – I am so glad I am here. Just, you sit there, I can get this all patched up for you.”

“Yeah I… wouldn’t want to think if I had been sitting here bleeding out haha.” Andy swallowed at the growl that Eric immitted at the thought of this. “Sorry I just… thank you, for helping, you seem to know what you’re doing.”

“I… growing up in a large extended family, there were a lot of injuries, just patching up jobs and such. I learned how to bandage easily. It kind of became a necessity, sadly…” His voice trailed off slightly, becoming almost inaudible. “Okay, that should be good until we can get you to a Doctor.” He patted Andy on the shoulder before adding. “I just, let me clean up all this and we’re good.”

Andy hesitated to open his eyes at this, getting a quick glance of Eric getting back to his feet, holding blood stained cloths as he muttered under his breath, heading to the kitchen to clean it all off. He looked down to his arm and gasped slightly at the sight. “I… what!”

“Huh, is everything okay?”

“This is yours – your jacket?”

“Oh.” Eric just shrugged, “There wasn’t anything big enough in reach, it’s fine.”

Andy pouted, “But, but it will be ruined?”

“And? That doesn’t matter, you matter, and making sure you are okay matters. And besides, seeming it’s black, even if it bleeds through, which it might…. You won’t be able to see it.” Eric came back around to stand beside Andy, he held out a hand to help the support up. “Come on, I’ll take you to emergency.”

Andy smiled, taking the hand and letting Eric pull him to his feet. “Don’t you have better things to do.” He laughed, a bit unsteady he stepped forward and wrapped Eric up in a one-handed hug. “Thank you, for helping, and not laughing and stuff.”

“Hey, it’s what I’m here for – whenever you need.”

“Ditto.”

“Huh?”

“Right back at you… I mean, not for this, cause we all know I’ll be the opposite of help, but hey, anything else.”

Eric laughed, “Anything else, got it.”

****

**I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring  
Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence**

He felt refreshed, having spent some time back home with his family, coming back to his second home of the C9 house he felt like he could take on the world. He was ready to prove to his team that they made the right decision putting faith in him, that they made the right decision in giving him a second chance to prove himself. Plus, he would hate to leave now, he had only just gotten to know some of them – and he actually enjoyed their company. Eric would even go as far to say he missed them all while he had been at home. 

The C9 had quickly become his second home, the team his family. 

“Hey Sneaks, looking good.” He barley registered the cosplay that the ADC was half in and half out. He had learned pretty early on not to be too surprised by such things. And besides, it was totally true, he rocked it, and that was all that mattered. “You finished your stream?

“Mmm,” Zach seemed to be completely focused on something else. “Yeah, all done... thanks, I mean I know you’re probably only just saying it to say it – but thanks.”

Eric froze, turning to watch Zach sigh, pulling himself off the couch and heading back towards his room. “Why… why would you think that? It’s true, you pull it off really well.” Eric tilted his head, wondering if there was something else he had done or said. “I’m… sorry if I’ve done anything that would make you think that.”

Looking up Zach blinked, as if finally realizing the conversation he was having. “Wait, oh no – sorry, I was… somewhere else. You haven’t said anything, ah – welcome back by the way.”

He narrowed his eyes. “But – other people have said stuff… are you okay?” Eric wondered if it was a weird question, if it was the right question to ask. Eric had tried his best to not question too much, it was in the realm of “personal” questions that he and Zach weren’t at the stage of yet. But he had seemed okay with everything, he had seemed like nothing about it really fazed him. Eric shock his head. “Sorry, I … apologize if that was a little, personal and off base.”

Zach stood frozen for a second, a hand on the banister of the stairs, one foot up. “I… can you give me a minute?”

“Huh?’

“I’m… not actually okay, but-“ He indicated his current state of dress. “Can you give me a minute?”

Confused at the sudden openness that Zach had just displayed he nodded, his voice suddenly dry. “Yeah, I’ll… I can wait down here, when you’re ready.”

He made another sort of hmm sound as he shock his head and made his way up the stairs. Eric made his way back to the lounge, sitting down in one of the chairs, leaning back and closing his eyes. He didn’t know what to think, what to expect, but he knew he had to be ready for anything.

A few others walked past him, and he nodded to them as they welcomed him home, he thanked them and said it was good to be back, distracting himself from the conversation that was about to come. It was about ten minutes later that Zach came downstairs completely cosplay free, for some strange reason Eric thought that it might have taken longer.

“Hey.”

“Hello, ah…” Zach shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. “I know you just got home and it’s weird cause of them time and such, but do you want to go for a walk?”

Eric nodded, getting to his feet and following Zach out of the door, pulling his jacket as close as possible to his chest as he cold night air hit him.

“It’s weird I know.” Zach commented, indicating the time of night it was. “I just, I don’t know, sitting down talking about this would have been… difficult.” He breathed out deeply, the cold air showing it and went silent, like he didn’t know where to start.

Eric walked beside him in silence, then taking a risk reached out and took Zach’s hand, squeezing it slightly. It seemed to work, Zach found his voice, speaking quickly as they walked around the streets.

“I… people keep bringing up my family, what they would think of it. What Dad would have thought, if Mum actually approves or not… and I, it just makes me paranoid, it makes me think what if she doesn’t? What if I am disappointing her and his memory?” Zach took a deep breath, before adding softly. “It just makes me want to pack it all up, to forget about it.”

“Has your Mum said anything?”

“Not really, I mean she joked around it, but… what if she’s just saying that and actually disappointed? What if she does think it’s wrong?”

“Zach… there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. No matter the reason, any and I mean any, explanation is okay.”

Zach easily read between the lines of these words. He knew about the rumours, and all the theories and everyone saying what they thought the reason was. There had been so many questions. He just enjoyed it though, thought it was fun, even saw it as a kind of challenge. If there was any other deep, underlining meaning he hadn’t realized it yet.

“Thank you, it’s just hard, I really should be used to all those kind of comments by now.”

“You’re fans are a little weird, yes.”

Zach laughed at this, shaking his head. “A little yes. I guess this time, it got a bit too personal. It is a bit harder to ignore to be honest.” Zach sighed, running a hand through his hair before immediately putting it back in his pocket, fighting against the cold. “I don’t know, maybe I’m just being stupid and insecure.”

“It’s not stupid.” Eric argued immediately. “It’s okay to have these kind of thoughts Zach, you’re not made of stone, you get to have feelings. And you shouldn’t have to pretend that you don’t.”

“Maybe I should just stop laughing it all off…” Zach muttered this quietly, subconsciously moving closer to his top-laner as he did so, a large gust of wind crashing into them. “Fuck, maybe going for a walk wasn’t the brightest ideas.”

Eric chuckled at this, “Time to head back?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Are you feeling a little better at least?”

“Mmm, it was good to talk to someone.”

“Surely the rest of the team?’

“Oh yes, they would – but you were there, and offered, and was actually straight out blunt with it. It was what I needed I think, it was nice.” The silence engulfed them once again as they made their wa back to the house. It was Eric that risked breaking it.

“You know Zach, you are awesome, you’re so comfortable in your own skin, you’re an amazing friend and you are one of the best in everything you do. I am sure, you’re Dad would be damn proud of you.”

“You think?”

Eric turned to glance at Zach, noticing the glint of tears in his eyes.

“Yeah, I really think so.”

****

**I found peace in your violence  
Can't tell me there's no point in trying**

It had been a complete accident of course. They had been walking through the corridors of the LCS studio, heading towards some photo shoot when a person ran past quickly, knocking him slightly to the side and sending his phone skirting to the floor and into a nearby cupboard. 

With a sigh he had gone to pick it up, nudging the door that had been held open by a wedge and closing it behind him. And now he was trapped, because apparently the door had no handle on the inside and the door locked upon closing. Whoever designed this had never been locked in any kind of cupboard before.

“Fucking hell.”

“You alright in there Eric?’

“I wouldn’t say alright, but it would love to get out of here.”

“Ah, we’ll just go and find something with keys, be back soon-“

“Wait, wait… all of you, you’re just going to… to leave me… alone….” His voice cracked slightly, as much as he tried to stop it from happening. Panic was settling into his stomach, and it increased with every second that he thought he would be left alone. “Can’t… can’t one of you stay?”

There was a small silence, the team looking at each other in confusion.

“Ah, Eric, are you… claustrophobic by any chance?”

Eric swallowed, “Just… just a tad,” He tried to move, and realized that the cupboard was a bit smaller than he thought. He hit the back of the cupboard, breathing out deeply upon the realization that he only had standing room. His panic increased and his heart began beating faster, “I… okay maybe more than a tad, a lot… oh God.”

“Okay, okay, Eric – Eric, can you hear us? Everything is going to be okay.” Eric couldn’t distinguish who was talking to him. But it helped that someone was talking to him. “I’m going to stay here, and everyone else is going to get help okay, so, you just… hang on.”

“I… why does it have to so dark, this… this doesn’t have a damn light and I can’t… I can’t….” He began to hyperventilate and press his head against the door. The damn door that would not open. “I can’t do this…”

“Hey, yes you can. You can do this – I’m going to help you through this, and soon the guys will be back and we’ll get you out of here.” The voice was now obviously Dennis’s, the accent filtering through. “And you know what, you can destress… because you’re with people.”

Eric let out a deep breath, trying to regain some kind of composure. “I… yeah I am, but I-“

“We’ve got you man.”

He wanted to believe him, really, he did but all he could think of was the small space he was in, all he could remember was being left alone, all he could hear was cruel laughter and screams in the back of his head. He wished with all his might he could believe that everything was going to be okay – but he couldn’t believe it, he just couldn’t think of anything but… last time, last years, last… everything.

“Eric, Eric are you still there.”

He wasn’t, nope – not in the way that he was being asked.

Outside of the door Dennis was staring to panic, getting no response from Eric, he figured that this was only a bad thing. He continued to call out his name, knocking on the door, making sure than even in a small way, Eric was able to hear him, to know that he was there.

He had no idea how long he had been standing there when his team returned, a member of security moving quickly behind them, holding a large set of keys.

“Oh thank God.” Dennis glanced down at the set of keys and let out a deep breath. “Please tell me you know which one of those you need?”

He nodded, taking one of the keys from the ring and placing it in the door, opening in quickly.

The team all moved forward at once, calling out Eric’s name as they did so.

He looked at them all with an odd expression, a deep set of panic in his face, tears seeming to be welling in his face, a paleness that none of them had even seen before. Eric’s whole body shook, deep shivers flowing through his whole body. He let out a deep gasp, tilting forward and falling into their arms – he gripped them like it was the only thing keeping him up.

“It’s okay, it’s alright, I’ve got you.” Andy stood as sturdy as he could with the extra weight, wrapping one arm around the top-laner, holding him closer. “You’re out, you’re okay – I’ve got you.”

“Ah, I think we’ll forget about the promo shots for the day… I think heading home is the best thing right now.”

“No, no I can’t... I can’t even…”

“Oh, right, the car is pretty cramped…”

“Coffee – at that open café at the park down the road?”

“That sounds nice, Eric – would you be okay with that?”

Eric nodded, clutching Andy’s shirt and pressing himself as far into the support as he could. “People, just…. Need to be with, people – outside of, in… light.”

****

**I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long**

They all sat at a large picnic table, Eric, who had slowly peeled himself off Andy during the walk down to the café, sat on one side, the rest of the team on the other. Wanting to be near him, to say that they were there, but not to crowd him in any way possible.

In front of them were coffees, a selection of food that they had all brought out of the automatic need to get something. They sat in silence for a moment, all cradling their coffees. When Eric finally spoke his voice was quiet, shaking slightly, and he didn’t look up from where he was staring down.

“I’m sorry – I kind of lost my shit a bit there.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do though, I feel like – maybe, it is something I should have told everyone, or at least someone sooner. It’s kind of a thing that your friend knows about you…”

“Not really, not… if it’s for reasons that they don’t want to talk about.” Eric laughed slightly at this, looking up slightly, his eyes focusing on Jensen who had made the comment. Jensen tilted his head at him and added softly. “That’s what I assume, I apologize if it is not correct.”

“No, no that’s correct I…” Eric swallowed, shaking his head. “I… was too observant as a kid.” It was a weird way to start off, but if he was going to talk about this, it would have to be slowly, and he was going to dance around the subject as much as possible.

“And, this wouldn’t have anything to do with your ability to be so okay with blood?”

Eric breathed deeply, closing his eyes, gripping his coffee cup as tightly as he could. “My… my uncle was not a very nice man, he was abusive… with his children… with everyone really. My parents, they, they didn’t know, not much as I did anyway… Whenever I went over to his place, to be looked after when my parents were working or for vacation or something. My cousin, she’s five years older than me… she hated that I had to see it… so….”

“You used to hide in cupboards?”

He nodded, breathing out deeply. “There was this hidden cupboard, that her and her brother had actually made, in her room, it was so hidden no one knew about it… and one day, one day she told me to go in, to be quiet… and it was like all the other times… except this time, this time she didn’t come back for me.”

Eric looked up at this, noticing the looks of both shock and encouragement that his team mates were giving them. He knew the looks well, but it had been so long since he had seen them, both anger and horror at what he was talking about, but a kind of proud look as well. A look that said he could keep going or finish, whatever he wanted to do.

“I… I was in there for a couple of days, my cousin, she had been hurt so bad she fell unconscious, she woke up in the hospital and one of the first things she said was my name… she told my parents everything and they came and found me.” Eric shook his head. “Almost forty-eight hours I was in there, and I was absolutely terrified, not just for the situation… but. But someone I cared about…. I didn’t know if they were alive, if they were okay.” He gripped the table in front of him, knuckles turning white. “That’s why… I just, need to have people around, so I know that they’re okay, so that I know all I need to worry about is myself. I haven’t found myself in that situation in years… but it just… it all came back, my brain just reverted back to that five-year-old, terrified, left alone… I couldn’t…”

The tears fell at this, splashing onto his hands and the table. “God… fucking damn it.” The team had moved at this point, walking over to Eric’s side and wrapping him up in a group hug, that had him chuckling slightly, laughing through the tears that were streaming down his face. He let himself snuggle into his team, needing the contact more than he thought he did.

“Hey Eric?”

“Mmm?”

“Thanks, for trusting us with that.”

He breathed out deeply, not too sure how to respond. “You… you’re my family, it’s about time I trusted you with my scars.” Eric continued to sink further into them, a small smile forming on his face as he did so, slowly, ever so slowly he was beginning to actually relax.

“Can we, just stay like this… for a little while longer?”

“As long as you need.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading everyone, please let me know what you thought :D


End file.
